by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Is Taylor Swift gay? The simple answer is, no, what the fuck are you talking about? The more nuanced answer is: she’s probably had sex with a few women and she’s such an emotional blabbermouth that she can’t keep her queer lust to herself and so she writes songs about said women.
Now, the key thing you and I as Poors and rubes have to appreciate is within the rarified heights of power and wealth that Tay-Tay inhabits same-sex relationships — especially between women — are so normalized and commonplace that, lulz, you’re telling on yourself if you think Taylor Swift fucking Karlie Kloss means squat.
Remember, the key to this particular situation are the songs that Tay-Tay swift wrote that definitely seem to be about a woman, not a man. The song “Dress” comes to mind, specifically, as a song that my gut instinct is — she’s talking about fucking Karlie Kloss.
The reason is — the song doesn’t give any sort of gender designation to the person it’s addressed to AND there is a lot of emphasis on “dress.” My writer’s mind tells me that if you were someone like Tay-Tay and you wanted to run around emotionally naked in your art banging away at the word “dress” in your lyrics is exactly the way you would convey the idea to your fans that the person you’re talking about fucking isn’t a man.
But the key thing that proponents of “gaylor” have to remember is just because Tay-Tay probably fucked a few women doesn’t mean she’s gay. She was just having fun, maybe experimenting. And that moment in her life is over now. She has a boyfriend and Kloss is married.
It’s too easy for Poors — like me — to get way, way too excited about someone as all-American as Tay-Tay banging a woman. Just because she’s experienced the Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name, doesn’t mean you should expect her to start publically dating Cara Delevingne.
Now, obviously Tay-Tay’s “people,” and her publicity machine have decided it’s in her best interests to mind fuck her fans by leading them to believe that she’s “queer” when she’s nothing of the sort. Tay-Tay seems quite content with her boyfriend and that’s that.
