I talked to another manuscript consultant today and this one really paid off. I had a few “ah ha!” moments during the hour. I just need to mull things over for a few more hours then I’m going to throw myself back into things.
Now that the story has its sea legs again, I am a lot more comfortable thinking this is going to be a six novel project again. I was kind of sweating it for a little while there. I still have a lot of challenges to overcome to flesh out six novels, but now that the first novel is stable I feel a lot more confident in believing I have six novels sketched out.
I may now as I go forward bounce around the six novels some just to entertain myself instead of constantly struggling with the details of the first novel.
I’m kind of paranoid about people taking my sometimes Internet-crank like writings the wrong way. I’m extremely harmless. I’m not quiet and I don’t keep to myself. In fact, in the real world, in person, I’m very much an extrovert. But we live in such a world that anyone who is “different” is automatically pigeonholed as dangerous and bonkers.
So, when I saw in my Webstats that someone in Alexandra looked at the “fashion photography” tag I grew concerned. The person came directly to that tag, as if maybe it was sent to them in an email. Given Alexandra’s proximity to Washington D.C. and, as such, like the FBI, I a little unnerved that somehow the FBI thinks I’m some sort of deranged lunatic that needs to be watched.
I’m definitely no such thing. In fact, the worse thing anyone ever said about me was I was “a delusional jerk with a good heart.”
So, please, FBI agent, if it was you, please don’t think I’m some sort of crazy person. I’m different, yes, but harmless. I have a lot of ideas about a lot of things, but I hate violence, hate guns and just want to be left alone so I can work on my novels.
Ugh. Whenever random hits from South Korea pop up in my Webstats I get nervous. I was a wild animal in South Korea and I did some things I regret. Nothing too bad, but bad enough to give me pause for thought when they come rushing into my mind as I try to get to sleep.
All of that was a long, long time ago. And I’ve changed. I really have. I’m not saying I’m not still larger-than-life and eccentric at times — I definitely am still all that — but I’m far more wise than I once was. And I don’t drink nearly as much as I used to and when I do drink, I don’t drink so much that I’m “pickled.”
As I’ve written before, I only even think about any of this because I worry that should I ever find any success that I’m going to have some unexpected ghosts from my past pop up. But as I like to say, you have to make decisions on what you do know, not on what you don’t know.
So, it’s definitely possible that I will be “canceled” as soon as I find any successful, but it’s also possible that…maybe I’m overthinking things? Most of my bad behavior in the past was nearly 20 years ago and was the result of drinking too much.
It’s like I’ve had a brain transplant — I’m a far better, far wiser person than I once was. I just hope I’m forgiven.
Because I’m still in my delusional mode of working on these novels, I find myself wondering what might happen if I actually find success as a novelist. And one thing I think about because of that is my past bad behavior. All I can say is, I’m sorry.
Since I’ve come back from Seoul, I’m a very different person. I have a lot of humility and I’ve lived with the grief of what happened to me in Asia for a long, long time. I can’t go back and change what has happened, but I can accept that I’ve learned my lesson and I’m a much better person than I once was. I’ve matured a lot — not that any of that will satisfy the people who might want to “cancel” me in the future.
And that’s where the whole “It’s better to have loved and lost than never loved at all” element of things come into play. So, yeah, it’s possible I might have a brief moment in the sun that will end when my past drunken behavior comes to light, but at least I’ll have a few days (weeks?) where I will get to enjoy things before it all goes to shit.
But I’m being very delusional to even contemplate this at the moment. All I have is a dream right now and there’s no reason to think it will ever come true. I may continue to drift in oblivion until I shuffle off this mortal coil.
For me, the key thing about Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is he’s a political opportunist. If this was 25 years ago, he would probably be just your standard issue ambitious Republican governor. He would be very much like George W. Bush.
But this is not 25 years ago. As such, DeSantis, along with the rest of the Republican Party, has shifted into full blown fascist autocracy. By definition, to be a Republican in good standing these days is to be a fascist. And you know they are by how touchy they get whenever you mention this. They say people like me have been calling Republicans fascists since 1964 and fuck you lib.
Yet, it’s self-evident that Republicans ARE fascists. Their talking points, taking as a whole, are those of autocratic fascists who want white minority rule. To my Traditionalist relatives — who I love dearly — the very idea of “autocracy” is such an abstract to them that they dismiss it as our future. And now they don’t even believe the United States is a democracy in the first place, so they are all-in to being Good Germans once white minority rule is finally established.
And once we became an autocracy, it’s doubtful it would register that we weren’t democracy anymore — but for me. I’m just not going to shut up and as our freedoms slowly begin to circle the drain there is going to come a point because form follows function when a loudmouth crank like me is going to cross the autocrat.
Then things become personal and suddenly they get upset that they can’t find me because I was picked up at a bar for ranting about how much President DeSantis can suck my dick. I’m not saying this will happen immediately after 2025, but once we’re no longer a democracy the general insecurity of our new autocratic ruler will gradually lead to a Constitutional Convention and me in an ICE Camp.
Of course, the other option is a civil war. That would be fun.
So, I have a relative — who I love dearly — who, whenever I bring up the latest egregious law breaking by Trump says, flatly, “Well, if he broke the law, he needs to be charged.”
I think of that when we learn that Trump’s Administration was involved in the very Nixonesque practice of siccing the IRS on this political opponents. If your metric is to blandly and in a rather blasé manner say that you’re not outraged, but just want the courts to sort things out, you feed into the cancer of unaccountability that is MAGA.
We don’t have any political will to do anything about Trump! If you’re a conservative who hides behind the idea of the courts sorting things out, then you’re feeding into the cancer, making it bigger. You have to have an opinion! You have to get angry! Don’t vote for anyone who won’t hold Trump accountable! Make common cause with other people who believe in American freedom and democracy!
For once, don’t let your abstract fear of the “woke cancel culture mob” blind you to the rise of fascism in the America!
But I’ve given up hope. My Traditionalists relatives — who I love dearly — want autocracy and, but for me inevitably running afoul of the autocrat — would be quite content to be Good Germans under President DeSantis’ reign. And that’s pretty much things where things stand — we’re fucked.
The cancer is going to kill our democracy and we’re going to become an autocracy and my Traditionalists relatives are going to have to figure out a way to get me out of a Trump-branded ICE camp.
If I ever blow up with my DJ money, as they say, I will immediately become the subject of scrutiny and, as such, all my drunken women chasing and general bad behavior over the years will be probably be picked part. I know this is a very real possibility — I’m a very flawed person and I’ve done my fair share of things that some people will put me in the “canceled” dustbin of history for.
Having said that, in my experience, whenever I have a run-in with “woke” people on Twitter my biggest complaint is I just don’t know how to deescalate things. The moment they start using “woke cancel culture mob” buzzwords I’m taken aback. They frame things in a way that it’s impossible for me to say, “But, but, I’m on your side…:
Which gets me to thinking, what, exactly does it mean to be “woke.” The first instance of gratuitous wokeness that I remember is when in one of the Jurassic Park sequels everyone was saved by a young African American woman gymnast out of the blue. It was totally out of place and weird and I immediately realized that Spielberg was, in a very ham handed manner, trying to make a point, even if making that point was to the detriment of the story.
Now, of course, that young African American woman would probably be transgendered or something. Which, there’s nothing wrong with that, but unless the storyteller did the hard work of setting up her heroic turn would just be weird and take you out of the movie.
But, again, what does it mean to be “woke?”
I think it means different things to different people. It’s so abused by the Right to score political points that its use has grown very grating. But I suppose one definition would be framing things in such a way that straight white men are seen as the enemy. I’m not saying this is my definition, but it is a definition. To me, I see being “woke” often as a crutch that over sensitive people use on Twitter to start a fight even if what you said was just a random, stray thought without any deeper meaning.
But I will say this — people who are excessively woke are doing the cause of liberal democracy no favors. It’s extremely corrosive because if you totally alienate conservative white straight men then they’re going to vote for fucking fascists. And then where are you with your wokeness?
And, yet, I don’t think there really is any unified, agreed upon meaning for “being woke.” It’s generally so broad and so apt to be warped for the political motives of the Far Right that it’s kind of a “know it when you see it” kind of thing.
All I want is Leftist not to attack me if I don’t follow their orthodox. I generally am not Leftist and don’t even like them, but I’m willing to make common cause with them if that’s what I have to do to defeat the rise of the fascist MAGA New Right.
The more I think about it, the more the case could be made that I shift my attention to a book that would be the beginning of a trilogy instead of the fourth book in a six book project.
And, yet.
At the same time, I really like what I have planned and it’s a lot of fun to imagine writing six novels so one gets to actually see why this place I’ve thought up is so fucked up. The stories I’ve come up with are so compelling and interesting to ME, at least, that I’m willing risk it.
I’m the one doing all the hard work, afterall.
But I have decided that I need to maybe throw a lot more at the first novel if I’m going to make it a calling card that’s popular enough that people want to read the rest of the books. As such, I need to maybe answer a few of the bigger questions in the first book then just made the other books so compelling based on characters as opposed to lingering questions that aren’t answered.
So, because I don’t have a wife or a girlfriend to tell me “no,” I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing. But I have to accept that there is a very real possibility that I’ll do all this hard work and, in the end, won’t even sell the first book, much less start two trilogies.
But it will be worth it. I really believe in this first novel and believe in this massive, overwhelming novel writing project. That was the whole point of this from the beginning — to overwhelm myself creatively so I wouldn’t feel sorry for myself.
It has been pretty obvious the last few Indiana Jones movies that they REALLY want to transition to a new actor as the central figure in the franchise. Harrison Ford is old and there’s going to come a point when if they’re going to continue with the movies someone is going to have take his place.
The New Indy?
And, yet, there’s a problem — the Indiana Jones franchise is very beloved and everyone thinks of Harrison Ford’s Indiana Jones when they think of “Indiana Jones.” So, they have to think of some way to keep going without him.
I heard a stray remark somewhere that the next Indy movie is about time travel. And given that Phoebe Waller-Bridge is involved it seems possible….that they might literally make her Indiana Jones via time travel? Maybe some sort of multiverse event happens and Indy is a girl instead of a boy at birth. Then our universe Indy meets this new version of himself in the past and not only does hilarity ensues but there’s a way for them to keep the brand name.
Of course there would be a huge uproar amongst conservatives at such an offense, but, lulz, there’s money to be made. And there are worst things to happen than to have Phoebe Waller-Bridge play a female Indy in a few movies. Though I still think she needs to play Dr. Susan Calvin, robot psychiatrist. She’s perfect for that role.
Anyway, this is all very much speculation. But something’s gotta happen unless they’re going to start using de-aging and deep fake technology to put Harrison Ford’s face on some other actor’s body. Strange things have happened in movies, I suppose.
My first indication that something was off in American politics was when my Traditionalist relative pined me down one Thanksgiving during the second Obama Administration and was enraged. He went on at great length about how much he hated everything about the Obama Era. It was almost as if he felt a personal affront from the social changes that were happening in the United States at the time.
Since then, things have only gotten worse. My Traditionalist relatives no longer even believe that the United States is a democracy in the first place. And they give me some obviously well-thought out Republican echo chamber talking points about why this is the case. They are so blinded by the fascist ideology of the modern day Republican Party that they simply do not care what the ultimate consequences of establishing an autocratic white minority ethno state might be for the nation as a whole.
Of course, they don’t articulate it that way. They don’t come out and say that they want white autocratic minority rule. But that is, in effect, what we would get if they got what they wanted. And, given that I’m a loudmouth — often drunk — crank, the idea of us transitioning from the anocracy that we are now into a full fledged autocracy gives me serious cause for concern.
My Traditionalist relatives see everything in the abstract. They want abortion to be totally outlawed in all 50 states, because that’s just want they’ve always wanted and they honestly don’t care about what that would mean for millions of women. They believe “every life is precious” unless, of course, you’re an old person who might die from COVID, then you’re shit out of luck.
But, let’s go back to what may be warping American politics. What, specific thing, is making white conservatives men specifically flip the fuck out to the point that they want an obvious autocrat like Ron DeSantis to be president so bad that they would “vote for him three times” if they could.
I don’t think there is any one thing. I think it’s a combination of macro forces that are all coming to a head at the same time — around late 2024 – early 2025. Some of it how dramatic the shift in social expectations that took place in the second Obama Administration. Some of it is technology, social media and podcast have done a lot to radicalize the Republican base. And there is the old standby of Fox News, but I take that as a given — it’s a success because people are willful in their refusal to accept any fact that doesn’t fit their already formed partisan worldview.
The warping of the American political system — specifically conservative thought — is thus intractable and impossible in any practical way to fix. We are well beyond the event horizon for a massive clusterfuck in 2024 – 2025. And, at the moment, I think we’re just going to shrug and become an autocracy. Though, if Trump is the 2024 Republican nominee the possibility of civil war increases dramatically.
Having said all that, there is a key exception to all the fascist bullshit that my Traditionalist relatives believe in — the personal. And it’s the personal — specifically me refusing to shut the fuck up — that is going to cause a huge amount of problems down the road regardless if we have a civil war or turn into an autocracy.
Once we’re no longer a democracy and President DeSantis begins to strangle the last vestiges of traditional American life — including freedom of speech — that is when I will have the moral high ground. They’re going to come to me in secret and demand I change my loudmouth crank ways “for the sake of the family” and I’m just going to tell them no — they had their chance to make common cause against tyranny and they gave it up because they were afraid the woke cancel culture mob was going to cancel them personally and ruined their lives.
It’s not exactly a situation that’s going to make me feel good, even though I was proven to be right, but it’s bound to happen. But we work with what we’re given, not what we need.
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